filing cabinet

Our minds are like filing cabinets
storing away the memories
making connections with the past

Cabinets with drawers labeled:
Happiness
Sadness
Love
Hate

etc.

And inside these drawers, there are folders -
Each gathering more and more memories like stacks of paper piled away
day by day



When we reach back into the cabinets,
we often take the most recent folder
thinking that's the ultimate source of our happiness
or our sadness.
or whatever it may be that we're focusing on.

You may not be consciously aware of it, but something in your present reality is strongly linked to a moment in the past
That's why listening to music from an earlier stage of your life can elicit such strong emotions

-~-

A friend of mine brokeup with her boyfriend the other day and it made me reflect upon my past..
think about the breakups I've been through
and in the moment you think the other person is the source of your sadness but they're really not.

They're just bringing out what's already inside you

I realized this before,
after one of my breakups..
and could think back to a time when I was very young before being attracted to anyone,
and I could vividly remember myself just being so hurt and sad
for no reason other than just the fact I felt sad

I had no person to place my sadness upon
no file from my cabinet to reach back and explain why I was upset.

This innate loneliness and sadness we experience is all the way in the back of our cabinet
with the accumulation of events over the course of our life sequentially in the front

We may attach people to this concept of "love"
put them in the front of our filing cabinets
with a huge folder marked with hearts

and once we think they hurt us,
we take all their papers in the happiness folder
and may move it to sadness
then we're left with that empty folder of happiness to fill



just a lesson on attachment
sometimes unhealthy when becomes obsessive in negative ways--
in which our mind loves to do

We all have happiness, sadness, trust, betrayal, all within ourselves because this is what we do to ourselves.
everyday.

Once the most recent memory in our filing cabinet is moved from happiness to sadness,
we have to rebuild what our conscious concept of happiness is,
or retreat back to memories from the past that filled us with joy,
thus not fully living in the moment



That is why it is so important to have this unchanging center.
the silent pause
amidst all the chaotic ruckus.

:)